Why do I wear makeup? I think about this question a lot. I started wearing makeup when I was around 12 years old, it was my mums old mascara that I would put on in secret, I thought I would be told off because she’d always told me I was young and beautiful and didn’t need it; which was true. It started with mascara, then I began filling in my eyebrows, adding eyeliner maybe concealer on my teenage spots, all the way to the (pretty much) full face of makeup I put on everyday now. My main insecurity through secondary school was my incredibly blonde eyelashes and eyebrows. I am lucky to be blessed with super long eyelashes, and very nice shaped eyebrows (I’ve never had to pluck them !!) the only problem is ... they’re invisible. It’s still something I’m insecure about now, I don’t feel like me unless I’ve got my 3 layers of mascara on and black eyeliner in my waterline. When I began wearing much heavier eye makeup, I questioned myself. Who am I doing this for? I hear all the time of people comparing themselves to girls online, wanting to look like other people, dreaming of changing their face and their bodies, but I never felt that, sure I wanted to be prettier but I don’t think that was because of social media. I remember deciding, when I was about 15, ‘I’m not naturally pretty, I just know how to make myself look pretty’. I loved myself and was confident in my own body - as long as I wore mascara, eyeliner and eyebrow pencil ( as well as straightening my hair to a crisp but that’s a different story ). As I get older, I am still constantly questioning who I am wearing makeup for. I like to think it’s for myself, I find I am more productive when I look good and there’s a current TikTok trend that I really resonate with ‘An extra 10 minutes for a better 10 hours’ it’s the concept that if you feel your best then you will have a better day. I would say I am more confident now, I think I am naturally pretty, but, I would still never leave my house, or see anyone other than my parents, bare faced, so really am I just as insecure as my 15 year old self? And does that suggest that I don’t wear makeup for myself, but for other people?Think about it, as women we spend our whole lives apologising for our appearance - sorry my hairs a mess,
sorry I look so tired today, sorry I was in a rush I didn’t put as much makeup on etc etc etc; have you ever heard a man apologise for the way he looks ... NO !!! So do I wear makeup for male validation? I don’t think so, my ex boyfriend actually preferred how I looked without makeup, and I still put it on every day. Then there’s the concept of ‘pretty privilege’ which examines the advantages that are made to both men and women solely based on their physical appearance. Which is so messed up, because yes, I do feel like people will perceive me differently when I look my best vs when I have no makeup on. So am I wearing makeup to make myself conventionally attractive? Yes, I guess so, and that is so fascinating to me, because who decided that long dark eyelashes, tanned skin, straight hair were the attributes you need to be pretty. On the other hand though, I love the ritual of doing my makeup. I love starting with a blank canvas and building up products until I achieve my desired appearance, I love the hour I spend every morning at my makeup desk, I don’t listen to music or watch tv, so I just get to sit and think. So in that sense, yes I am doing my makeup for myself. The other thing is that I am very interested in the world of fashion and beauty. I love reading about the new products brands are bringing out, watching videos on the latest makeup trends, and I would love to share my opinion online about this myself because you become part of a community; the beautiful thing about social media is that there’s a whole world of people’s opinions and recommendations at our fingertips.
So ... I guess I can’t say for certain that I wear makeup for myself, to do that I think you have to be as confident and unapologetic wearing no makeup, because then it is 100% a choice that you are making every day; like Pamela Anderson. I am hoping that I am becoming more confident as I get older, so maybe when I’m like 30 I’ll be getting up and actually choosing which version of myself to be that day, and I will feel just as confident barefaced as I am in a full face.
